Sick ramblings and Batman Fic

[xt1me]

So I was feeling far too miserable to do my grocery shopping yesterday. Thankfully I can just order online.
My shopping came today with a little prize box they apparently sometimes do. I think it might be a way to get rid of old stock but it was still pretty noice.

The box had a small chocolate, a coffee pod, a dark chocolate protein bar, spicy doritos n& a Pepsi max.
The thing is, I don't like dark chocolate, I can't handle spices, I don't drink coffee & I dislike diet drinks.

On the other hand, I was so stuffed up I could barely taste anything & spices are good for congestion right? So I eat them anyway.

And you know what, I think it helped.
Maybe it was just because I at something & had some caffeine but I did feel a little better afterwards.


Also yesterday I took some time out of playing video games and feeling sick & miserable to type up a short bit on musings on the Bat Famaly's Social Medias.
I have figured out how to do fake tweets on Ao3 now. (Though I know nothing about twitter so all retweet/reblog numbers I made up at random.)
Plain text version below.

 

So you know that Batman wouldn’t let any of the batfam actually have any social media accounts because of SecOps but it is fun to imagine if they did.
I mean it’d be a pretty good way to get alibis or spread misinformation if you think about it. I‘m sure half the internet is under the impression Batman is blonde. The ones that aren’t convinced that Batman isn’t human anyway.
And no one every confirms anything, at least not in anyway that doesn’t lead to more questions.

 -I wish B wouldn’t leave blood everywhere.
-The cave gets is surprisingly well insulated, the real bats look so cosy #keepwarm
-Listen, just because you’re a demon from the depths of hell doesn’t mean you daughter’s going to listen to you.

 

Batman himself is probably just as much a crypted online as he is in brick space. Popping up to reply to Rogues out of nowhere or just giving one-word responses to questions at random. You know his dramatic emo goth heart means he probably posts something really ominous every now and then that no one ever figures out except for the rest of the Batfam. Not that they ever explain anything.
There’s only one person he’s blocked, the Joker. He might be forced to pay attention to the villain in real live since lives are at stake but the Joker can’t do anything online. He has a lot of terrifying skills but computers aren't one of them. In fact, rumour has it that he made the Joker rage quite twitter entirely the one time he answered someone else's question about the Joker with just the word "Who?"

 

Oracle doesn't have an account of her own she just uses other people's. I don't just mean hack them pretending to be another one of the batfam, though she can do that to. No, I mean she hacked their accounts and posts as Oracle, with her own logo and handle and everything. No, no one knows how she does it. Yes, she does it to flex on everyone.
She’s the one that makes sure the Gotham's police accounts post up to date info on Arkham breakouts and the like.
She is also the reason why all the Bat family socials are verified, and a fair number of the Rouges as well.
The Rouges get verified mainly to prevent imitators. And so that Batman can block the Joker on any account he makes. No, the Joker has not yet realised this.

 

Robin’s account tends very be cheerful and friendly. Posts are mostly innocent with every now and then one that is jarringly disturbing.

 

There’s some really pretty flowers blooming after the storm (don’t worry, Ivy’s still in Arkham)
-I took a picture of a robin today. A picture of a robin taken by a robin 😉
-I finally punched out one of every single tooth #collectioncomplete
-Can’t beat the view from on top of Wayne tower
-The hotdog cart was still open in Robinson’s park #bestingotham
-Decapitated body on the corner of Park Row this morning, something to keep an eye out for
-Great sunset today, hope everyone is having a wonderful night

It’s all a bit ‘Welcome to Night Vale’.
It was started by Dick, who was so cheerful that people tended to forget how much of a feral child he could be. Continued by Jason who treated it like a writing exercise. Then Tim, who tried to emulate his predecessors as much as he could. Even Steph for a bit, chaos lover that she is.
Damien was only convinced to do it by Dick saying it was an important misdirect for their secret identities. He’s not very good at being cheerful so has a bunch of templates he made to use that are ‘appropriately insipid’. It does make his posts have a bit of uncanny valley effect but that only helps the bit.
All former Robins still have access to the Robin account and occasionally still post things. If anyone references something that happened years ago they can answer as if they were still Robin. In fact, anyone posting as Robin only ever refers to themselves as Robin and make no mention that there any was any other Robins, giving the impression there was only ever one. It doesn’t matter how it's referred to on the other social media accounts they never break character on the Robin one.

 

Nightwing’s accounts are mostly normal except for how no one is ever quite sure how much of it is real considered all the off-hand references to everything from magic to space aliens (all of it, the answer is all of it). He’s defiantly the most social on the social media’s and responds to some very random people, from reporters in Metropolises to air force pilots in Cost City or forensic officers in Central to billionaires in Star.

 

Red Hood posts like a middle-aged man.
At various points in his life he's been dirt poor, dead or busy with his roaring rampage of revenge. Which didn’t leave much time for social media in general. The fact that he's built like a brick shithouse, is covered head to toe, makes frequent references to classics and the bloody swath he made with his entrance to Gotham, most people think he's a lot older than he actually is anyway. (Not that he doesn’t know how to use social media, he may possibly have an account on tumblr that no one knows about.)

 

Spoiler will never post any information she needs other people to see one her account because she knows a lot of people have her blocked because they’re afraid she’ll post movie or book spoilers. To be fair she does do that, though they tend to be more trigger warnings a la the ‘does the dog die’ website.
Anything she wants more people to see she posts on the Batgirl accounts.

 

Cass tends to post more like Bruce. Random, short and crypted. Although she will add emoticons. She also will occasionally post terribly blurry photos of various parts of Gotham that are almost impossible to make out. Tim has tried to give her tips but she will always pick out the worst ones to post. Some of them are just black. There are massive hunts to try and figure out where she took them from but people rarely ever find out.

 

There is no way Tim is not a meme lord. That said they tend to get a bit weird since they are all about superhero stuff.

 -<picture of the meme 'me and the boys at 2am looking for BEANS' with the word BOMB replacing BEAN>
-1000 year old assassin cult leader trying to explain generational naming schemes.
Me: ok Boomer
-Scarecrow, Joker and Killer Croc all escaped from Arkham. #thisisfine.


 

The Signals official accounts already existed before Duke appeared on the scene. It was actually the unofficially official bot account that just posted when the bat signal was lit. It still does that at night but now during the day they’re the Signal’s accounts.

At no point is the change ever acknowledged.