Why is it so hard to write?

[xt1me]

I had an idea for a DCA fic in my head for a while now but it was just so hard to start writing it.
In an effort to just get it on paper I wrote out an outline.
I was sorely tempted to just leave it as a fic idea but I knew it was short enough that there was really no excuse not to just get it down.

I wrote the outline out in a few minutes since I had already worked out the plot. But it's taken me the last few days to get the fic out.
I am so slow at this.

I'll post the fic tomorrow. I want to go over it a few more times to proof read it even though I know I'm still going to miss mistakes.

This is the outline I wrote:

 

Paultin’s in a place he recognizes. (the old home he had before he knew the Waffle Crew)

Blood on the floor walls, also shattered stone.

Outside the window is burning caravans.

He goes outside.

It’s all snow.

There a (people sized) lumps under the snow.

Out of one he can see the bell of a jester’s hat.

He nopes out. It’s dream & he’s not having it.

He turns and walks though the mist & ends up in another place he recognizes.

The Raven Queen’s long hall.

Uh oh.

But no one’s there.

He walks down the hall into the room where he met the Raven Queen before but it’s empty excepts for the birds.

Nothing happens.

Board, he starts to play some music.

To fit the atmosphere he sticks with funeral songs. Finding that incredibly depressing he decides to change it up a bit. After all not all funeral songs are sombre.

The birds like it as they dance around.

In the middle of a song like ‘<name’s> wake’ he finally see the Raven Queen. Standing in the middle of the room as if she had always been there.

Nervous he still finished the song.

The queen seems to have liked it.

As he stammers out how he sorry for interrupting, he just got a little lost & he’d be going now the queen point to a window.

He gets the impression it’s a thanks for the song, & since you don’t refuse gift from powerful entities he looks.

A scene like from the POV of a bird can be seen.

He recognizes the place, it’s Barovia.

It’s during the day & 2 figures appear.

He doesn’t recognize them at first but soon realizes that it’s Falkon & Escher. They’re both alive & Escher isn’t Vampire. This is the slightly better time line the crew had made.

He watches them be happy & doesn’t realize he’s crying.

He doesn’t know why seeing them happy is affecting him so much. After all Falkon was just another in a long line of people he got killed & Escher was just someone he used to save his own skin.

But they’re happy & Paultin knows full well how happiness can hurt.

He manages to say thanks to the Raven queen.

Handrew sows up to point the way home. He follows it though the mist & wakes up.

Time for a drink.