Bum Reviews: Kickassia
Jul. 13th, 2010 05:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
xt1me
And now it time for bum reviews with Chester A Bum.
Tonight’s review: Kickassia.
Oh my god this is the greatest movie I ever seen in my life!
Please prepare for kick ass SPOILERS!
There’s this guy, called the Nostalgia Critic . . .
Why does that name sound familiar?
. . . And he decides he what to take over this place called Molossia.
I tried to invade Molossia once.
I hurt my footsie
So he’s all like
“it’s time”
And every else is like
“what?”
And he’s like
“It’s time”
And they like
“What?”
And he’s like
“It’s t- oh forget it. Just get on a plane we’re going to Reno.”
So all these internet reviewers are in this one hotel room and the Nostalgia ma-Critic is all like
“We’re gong to take over a micro-nation!”
and they’re like
“why?”
And he’s like
“because”
“OK”
So then they all line up and everyone’s like
“CHARGE!”
And then the president pulls out a machine gun
“Gun! Run away! RUN AWAY”
So back at the hotel this guy called Failus says they should use weapons but Mr ma-Critic is all like
“That’s stupid. I know, we should use weapons!”
Wow, he’s so smart.
So then there’s this HUGE battle.
And every things all
Boom!
Rat-a-tat-tat-tat!
Ker-bluey
Zap-zap!
Explosion
It was awesome
So they defeat the president. Hurray.
Only he’s not the president anymore, he’s someone else.
Um, ok.
But Molossia is now Kickassia.
Hurray!
So everyone gets new jobs and the Mr ma-Critic guy is now the president.
But the old president, who’s not the president anymore and says that he’s a different guy who was never the president, is still around…
Yeah, I don’t get it either.
… and tells everyone that the Critic isn’t a good president
and also kind of a douche
and they find a receipt for a bunch of explosives.
I had a bunch of explody-masives once.
I wonder were they went?
* KA-BOOM! *
So anyway. They all meet up to decide what to do and the Cinema-ny Snob says he’ll find out and goes to the Critc and asks
“What’s with the explosives?”
“I’m going to blow everything up if people don’t like me”
“okay then”
So everyone agrees that the Critic is a douche only Film puppy Brain hears them and tells the Critic and he’s all
“Cinema Snob is banished!”
So after that, Mr ma-Critic is in his room and Ma-Ti from captain planet appears!
I-I don’t know why he appears but who cares, it’s Ma-Ti. From Captain planet.
Heart.
And he’s all like
“Stop being a douche”
“I’m not a douche”
“You are a douche”
“I’m not”
“Are too”
“Not”
“Are”
“Not”
“Are” “Not”
“Are” “Not”
“Are” “Not”
“Are” “Not”
“Fine! I’m am, I just don’t care”
So the others decide to attack the Critic so they bring in Dr Insano.
Oh my god it’s Dr Insano!
Hurray
So they fight and Insano wins…
Hurray
… And he’s all like
“ I’m in charge now”
only the Critic gets up and they fight some more and the Critic wins…
Hurray
… and then Santa Christ shows up…
Hurray
… and then he gets shot.
Hurr- oh wait
So everyone comes in and the Citric says
“We just have to believe”
So then there’s all these cameos
There’s that guy, an-and that other guy, Oh, and that other guy
He’s my favourite.
And then! Nothing happens
Awww
So everyone decides to attack again
Boom!
Rat-a-tat-tat-tat!
Ker-bluey
Zap-zap!
Explosion
And they beat up the Nostalgia ma-Critic and then Santa Christ comes back
*gasp*
OH MY GOD
Santa Christ!
So everything ends happily ever after
Except for the Nostalgia ma-Critic who gets beat up again
And they give the country back to the old president
Who’s the new president, but wasn’t the president but- aw, who cares. This was awesome!
So this was really heart warming tale of struggle and defeat and the bonds of a goup of-
Ah I’m messing with you, this was hilarious.
This is Chester A Bum saying
CHANGE! YOU GOT CHANGE!
Aw, come on help a guy out will ya.
Come on, Change!
At lest give me enough for a plane ticket. They left me in Molossia.
